I undertook a 10-day silent meditation retreat in Blackheath in the Blue Mountains of Australia through a well known organization called Dhamma.org – they have centers all over the world. I talk a bit about the course, so be forewarned if you are planning on doing this too.
I was curious try this as I’d been reading papers on the benefits of meditation, and the changes it makes to cognitive function, especially in relation to your attention networks. The lab I work at is also starting a meditation study, and I had wanted to try this course for years but hadn’t quite made the time. When external sensory inputs are taken away, isolated from communication and my iphone, we are left with just our top down executive functioning, or thoughts, with no distractions apart from those the mind creates itself. It’s the patterns our brain makes, when sensory input is taken away that seems at the heart of consciousness. What is left then?
Experience:

Accommodation at the Vipassana retreat
The grounds were beautiful, food tasty, vegetarian and fresh, accommodation simple and clean. Despite this, this course was definitely not a walk in the park(so to speak). I found it hard, but extraordinarily rewarding to have completed. Understanding the path that meditation leads to, would be very hard to do through a purely intellectual explanation, and experience is very important. The course provided meditators with an environment as close to total isolation as possible. This included no form of communication with any of the other meditators, gender segregation, and adherence to the 5 rules of Sila-
1. kill nothing
2. steal nothing
3. no sexual activity
4. no lies
5. no intoxicants
In this minimal atmosphere, it’s far easier to become more aware of your own mental patterns.
The first 4 days consisted of nothing but observing your breath 10 hours a day, in total silence. I noticed just how many thoughts I was having, one thought, distracted by the next, almost impossible to maintain my focus on breathing. Over the next few days, with constant re-focusing, my thoughts slowed down somewhat, and it was easier to observe them, and re-focus on breath. I was able to focus my attention on breathing and the area around my nose with far more sensitivity, almost training myself to have an attentional spotlight, which came in handy for the second half of the course.
At first I found being away from people wonderful, the silence a relief from the non stop demands of the modern multi-tasking world, until the strange and often disturbing nature of the thoughts that kept entering my head, became hard to bear. Thoughts would aggressively enter my head, as if to rebel against the breathing technique and the neverending quietness. My thoughts became louder or at least seemed to, I had nightmares, other people in my dorm appeared to as well. Apparently this process is called -purification. I hadn’t actually expected this less pleasant side of meditation, so it was an interesting addition.
Day 5 – the Vipassana technique.
Move your focus around your body, and remain equanimous (do not crave or avert yourself from any sensation). This is supposedly the path to ‘mental mastery’ and liberation from sankaras(reactions). The idea is that you move your attentional focus sequentially around your body. If you do this correctly you actually don’t notice how uncomfortable your sitting position is, until you move your focus to that area. This is fascinating, it’s as if the only things that can effect you are in your attentional focus. Another example of this is when you stub your toe, and someone pinches you on the arm, when your attention shifts, your toe doesn’t hurt as much. It would take much training to get yourself to do this well, but I could see what they were trying to prove to you.
While doing this, and trying to re-focus on the Vipassana technique, my mind skipped through a series of states, and I went through periods of pleasant peacefulness, and extreme anger(3 days in a row). As you meditate for such long periods, deep dormant thoughts come to the surface, and if you remain equanimous to them, they slowly fade away and the reaction cycles are broken – or so goes the theory. It is a method to retrain your brain, to deal with life more consciously than just a reaction machine, but first the old habits must be realized and broken.
I have some philosophical issues with the technique, although I believe it works for its stated goal of relieving suffering. One problem I have, I also asked the teacher – If we have no cravings and aversions, care not for past or future, how can we remain motivated, or strive for a goal? Her answer was that having no cravings or aversions is not the same as passivity, it is a toolkit to move forward with the most effective thinking in place. After hearing Sam Harris talk on the moral landscape and how science can determine moral values, I noticed that the conclusions I’d have without cravings and aversions, would be very similar, to those described in the moral landscape. I’d remain motivated for goals that made sense, which would almost suggest a deterministic solution for the future if everyone meditated regularly. This may actually be a good thing, if we just want to accelerate progress. The other question, is if we always live in the now, how can we plan and strategize? Where is the role of working memory, or any memory, in meditation? Anyway, open for discussion on that one.
Even though I was always trying to refocus to the present, my mind would continuously drift to past and future. Altogether, having this time was extremely valuable to inadvertently review ‘MY WORLD’. On the last day of the course, we could talk to each other, and I chatted to another lady who had been doing this semi-regularly for years, who explained the course as her yearly mind clean. Another lady had been travelling around South America experimenting with other styles of mental purification.
I’d totally recommend this course to others, and would consider doing it again, however, I thought it was hard! Benefits included improved ability to focus, and my addiction to social media was broken(albeit briefly)!
Be happy!
Brainwashed me.